I feel bad for Imran Khan’s character in Katti Batti, quite rightly called ‘Mad’dy!

Maddy is surrounded by some incredible people who drive him mad. Maddy’s best friend calls his ex-girlfriend chalu and pushes an office hottie down his throat to, quote unquote, move on in life! His mature advice was as appalling as his words, ‘Deepika se mil aur mita le apni desperation.’ Which makes perfect sense because Deepika is hot and hot people don’t have feelings, at least in Hindi films. Because all it takes to move on from a failed relationship is to have a one-night stand with someone hot, who might have feelings for you. Deepika, I feel for you babe!!

Maddy also has a bossy sister, who loves his brother’s girlfriend so much that she threatens to kill her.

And if this was not enough, Maddy meets a pseudo Sufi musical group called FOSLA (frustrated one-sided lovers association). No, that’s not the joke. The joke is their songs. Sample this: ‘Pyar karne waale, jala de lungi. Love ki baj gayi pungi.’ I choked on my nachos.

Like Maddy’s best friend and bossy behan, the weird musicians have an advice too, “Payal ko pana hain? Toh pyar bheekh se nahi, jang se jeeta jayega.” You see there is no dearth of advice in Katti Batti. Only if someone had given one to the filmmakers as well.

And to top it all, Maddy has a girlfriend, Payal, who is very modern, like she has tattoos. She doesn’t even shy away from using the taboo word that begins with an S and ends with an X. SEX? Hawww, ladki badi fast hain, I tell you. So clearly a girl who lives in with her boyfriend has to be ‘chalu’ enough to dump him overnight.

The problem with Katti Batti is that it’s trying so hard to be funny that it shows. It inserts gay jokes, a South Indian called Ramalingham who ‘yems’ and ‘yens’ everything and a gold-plated-speed-massaging-perfume-dispensing-commode worth 5 lakh rupees without any rhyme or reason. There are so many sequences that are written only for laughs, alas they fail to evoke any. A baby being pinched, NOT FUNNY! A man who can’t speak because he is chewing paan, NOT FUNNY! A Devdas scene on stage that replaces a dead Satish Shah with a drunken Imran Khan, trying so hard to recreate the epic scene of Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron, err, NOT FUNNY!!

Imran-mamu-jaan-when-will-you-produce-Delhi-Belly-part-two-Khan plays a role that he has NEVER played before: an urban, understanding boyfriend who is an architect. If you haven’t watched Ek Main Aur Ek Tu orGori Tere Pyar Mein, then the joke is totally wasted on you. If you have watched them, then I am totally judging you. Imran plays these characters well and he is pretty earnest and promising in Katti Batti as well.

Kangana-I-didn’t-do-I-Love-NY-Ranaut doesn’t offer anything wow. Though her character has so much to play with, like ‘Hero ki maa ke kangan’ and a variety of wigs. The way the length of her hair goes from short to long to very short to very long is a mystery bigger than the Indrani Mukerjea’s case.

The trailer says it’s NOT a love story. The film is promoted with an interesting, twisted end. Err NOT! There is nothing new about the ending of the film. The only good thing about the ending was…that it ended.

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